A little while back Mondesi’s House posted a list of the most hated men in Pittsburgh sports. I did not exactly agree with the whole list and frankly the rankings were kind of lazy, but it was not my list so I could not really complain. Max Power thought it would be a good idea for me to fill out my own list. If you are a long time reader here at DSB, and who isn’t, then for some this will not surprise you but I think it is always a good idea to revisit why certain sports figures are worthy of my hatred. I decided to revisit an old Bearcat standby…The Not Quite Top Ten Top Ten
10. Tom Brady
Insufferable even on The Simpsons
The man is single-handedly responsible for the pussification of the NFL. If he gets breathed on, the officials throw a flag. Brady is the poster boy for the Nerf Football League and watching him request flags and then get them causes me so much grief I have to drink massive quantities of alcohol just to get through a Patriots highlight session on ESPN. Couple this with his fashion modeling, his illegitimate baby that he bailed on so as to impregnate a supermodel and his frat-boy/douche bag good looks and how can you not hate him?
9. Kobe Bryant
Little Black Mamba just wanted some anal…
If he was just a maniacal asshole for a teammate that would probably be enough for him to be a player that I despised. The screaming at teammates…the 8,000 shots a game…the under-bite “mean” face…the smirk for a smile…the unbridled selfishness. That is all worth my scorn. But that is not quite enough to get on this list. No he had to go and rape a girl, throw Shaq under the bus during the police investigation (an often forgotten fact), pay the victim off to avoid a conviction, pay off his wife with a stupidly expensive purple diamond ring and sit back for a couple months until the whole thing blew over so that the media could go back to worshiping at his feet. Kobe Bryant = rapist.
7. Barry Bonds
Even his own mother thinks he is an asshole… right? This is undisputed truth
It is humanly impossible for anyone who has ever played, coach or paid money to see him play a game to say something nice about Barry Bonds. His own mother thinks he is an asshole. Satan has a better reputation than Barry Bonds. ESPN crawled into bed with him via a reality TV show and even the magicians that are reality TV editors could not make him look even the least bit likable. Pol Pot is less offensive as a human being than this guy. If A.J. Pierzynski is a clubhouse cancer than Barry gives your clubhouse leprosy and then provides Ebola to the fanbase. i.e. The Pittsburgh Pirates.
6. Pirates Ownership Since 1996
Where to start with these guys? First was Kevin McClatchy who was the face of the new ownership group when they took over in ’96. He was the CEO and Managing General Partner for a much larger group of life sucking owners. Then so as to make it seem like this group of abusive parents owners were taking some level of responsibility they relieved McClatchy of his post and replaced him with Bob Nutting. As if to say, an “Under New Management” sign was all that was needed outside PNC Park for things to get better. While these clowns have been running the Pirates we have seen the likes of Derek “Operation Shutdown” Bell, Jason “Welcome to Hell” Kendall and his crippling 60 million dollar contract, The Aramis Ramirez for Bobby Hill Trade, The Cam Bonifay Experience… I can do this all day but I don’t want to end up on a suicide watch.
3. Everything Associated With the Philadelphia Flyers
I have said it plenty of times on and off DSB. I truly hate the Flyers. You can never be too big, too fast or too stupid to play for their hockey team. Mostly the same can be said for all Flyers fans; you can never been too obnoxious, too prone to random acts of violence or too stupid. The “rough and tumble” style of their team is cheered on by its fans as Scott “The Demonic Clown” Hartnell takes another stupid penalty at just the wrong time. Dan Carcillo does not have the mental aptitude to be a door stop but he is held up as the quintessential hard hitting forward. The Broad Street Bullies were an expansion team that no one cared about until they won the Cup. Flyers fans that channel those ‘74 and ’75 Championship winning teams were either not alive to know anything about them or are lying about seeing them “win the Cup.” It is really hard for me to put into words my complete and utter distaste for everything around this team. The best way for me to show you is to link to one of my favorite youtube.com videos… I just love how the bench is patting Kasparaitis on the back after he totally crushes Lindros, so classless, just what the Flyers deserve.
2. Brett Favre
It was not a matter of if Favre would get on my list it was only a matter of what his final ranking would be. While there is a football player that garners more of my hatred, there is not another player whose career ending injury during live broadcast would bring me more joy. I spend every game in which he plays hoping that he will either get a limb ripped of or that he will be strapped to a back board with the facemask unscrewed from the helmet (always an awesome look). It would be great. To watch ESPN melt down, to see columnists openly weep for the 40 year old QB’s tragic end. It is the only reason I can stomach watching him play. The potential to see it all end with a Theismann like thud draws me in. Oh, how I wish that this self aggrandizing asshole with a history of alcohol abuse and an addiction to prescription pain relief would end up in a halo.
1. Ray-Ray
This drives me insane…
Public Enemy #1 on my list is Ray Lewis. If I can refer back to one of my early rants here on DSB… Ray-Ray’s look at me attitude, whooping it up attitude in the locker room, his dancing on the field and worse of all his Krumping from the tunnel, is nothing but a sideshow. ESPN will talk about his leadership, his drive, his passion for the game but those are all antics sold as entertainment. The fact that he works the NFL Rookie camp helping to mold and guide future millionaires is maddening. It is like the fact that Ray-Ray is both a murderer and a snitch were completely washed away by his preacher “God first” persona for the cameras. He is a clown in shoulder pads that ratted on his homies to avoid doing time. A rat. Fitting that he sits in what was the murder capital of America. In the history of football, is there a player that has been awarded more unearned half a tackle points than Ray Lewis? Anyone else on the Ravens’ defense makes a tackle and then Ray-Ray comes flying in seconds after the ball carrier is down, dropping a hit on a player who was otherwise tackled. Yet the refs never throw a flag for the late hit. Instead he gets credit for the play and is described as a hard hitting linebacker. I hate him so much…
Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy”s Sugar Ball…
Bearcat
Daddy's Sugar Ball 