Welcome back DSB readers, I am sure both of you are excited to see that I am taking the time to write another Running Diary full of misspellings, run-on sentences and retread jokes that were not necessarily funny the first time around.
This was my favorite part of the Super Bowl…
A quick note about the pregame. NBC first asked Archie Manning about the prospect of Pey-Pey playing in New York City with Eli and the look on his face was priceless. The man is so desperate to have this scenario play out he can taste it. It was obvious. What a self-aggrandizing asshole.
After an interview with Bob Kraft about the loss of his wife and the impact on the team, Rodney Harrison says that Myra Kraft “was the Patriot way.” I always assumed that Harrison thought the Patriot way was to be a cheating hack and to be widely considered the league’s dirtiest player.
And Cris Collinsworth wears jeans from his playing days. They are at least 20 years old. I can’t believe NBC let him get in front of a camera dressed like a hick seed from three decades in the past.
Costas called the Patriots “the NFL’s model franchise.” Like Spygate never even happened…
6:17pm Why is Kelly Clarkson the biggest star they could get to do the National Anthem? Also country music is the fucking worst… Naturally, Al Michaels call is rousing.
6:25pm Belicheat is looking extra homeless tonight. Clearly, this is an advantage for the Pats. While we are talking advantages I like the Pats to win but will be rooting for the Giants. God help me if the Patriots get four rings…
6:27pm This seems like a good time to let you know that the first beer of the night was Allagash Black Belgian Style Stout… it was fantastic. Right now for kick off I have a Bell’s Hopslam. ZJ loves this beer and for good reason. It gets the Bearcat Seal of Approval.
6:29pm Kickoff
6:32pm Every play thus far has involved Al Michaels reminding us of various plays that each individual participated in during the past season. I have no reference for any of this stuff. I think he just wants to show off that he watches a lot of football and did his homework. Hey Al, no need to “show all work” this is not algebra.
6:35pm Bud Light Platinum is triple filtered. That way they get rid of any of that beer like flavor…
6:39pm SAFETY!!!! Holy Shit! That is fantastic. That just made my night. That was 50-1 odds.
6:43pm Hynoski… The Polish Plow. FROM? Pitt. Great nickname.
6:47pm The Patriots can play awesome defense when they have 12 men on the field. Bill Simmons is wondering what is wrong with that defensive scheme.
6:50pm Cruz with the TD. 9-0 I couldn’t be happier at this point. And NBC plays salsa music for Cruz.
6:51pm Bud Light Platinum says that good things come for those that wait. If the good thing Bud Light I would rather just continue to be a rampant asshole.
6:55pm The Bridgestone Halftime show will be brought you at halftime by Bridgestone.
6:57pm I would love to be at the party where a Pats fan has 9 and 0 in his Super Bowl square. He has to be so conflicted. That would be fun to watch.
7:04pm 9-3 after the FG. The Chevy ad with the “Best Gift Ever” has best commercial thus far status.
7:08pm “Without GE there would be no Bud?” I hate General Electric.
7:10pm “His chip block is assault and battery” Ray Lewis is wondering what crime his play corresponds with… Criminal conspiracy and homicide seem right up his alley.
7:15pm I wonder if Pats’ Patrick Chung has named his penis “Wang Chung.” I am 100% sure he has.
7:32pm Gronkowski finally makes a catch and somewhere XXX Starlet Bibi Jones starts riding her bed post.
7:35pm So If I get flowers from Teraflora for a Victoria’s Secret model Adrian Lima I get to receive? That would be totally worth a 50 dollar half dozen rose set with ugly ass vase. She was alluding to a BJ right?
7:42pm This salsa if awesome. I am basically going to eat the entire jar. I kind of felt like being honest about the fact that I am complete fat ass.
7:45pm JPP with a huge stop inside the 2 yard line. Chris Collinsworth just said “He is not a regular human being.” HGH and steroids does that Chris.
7:46pm Woodhead with the TD catch. 10-9 Patriots.
7:52pm New beer Fegley’s Hop Explosion. Lots of grapefruit flavor and serious hops. A west coast type IPA and pretty good. I would seek this one out.
7:46pm Rodney Harrison may be working for NBC but he is clearly just a shill for the Patriots. He thinks the Patriots have played the best first half of football of all time.
8:03pm Madonna Crotch…. On my TV. BTW: Sean Penn has been there.
8:10pm Is Cee Lo Green wearing a trash bag?
8:13pm The Voice commercial was scary. Betty White’s eyes may have been up here but her tits were on the floor.
8:17pm The Clint Eastwood/Detroit commercial is fantastic. Chryslers still suck… but a great commercial.
8:25pm TD Hernández 17-9 Patriots… this game is not great.
8:58pm I totally blacked out… I might have put myself into a salsa coma.
8:59pm The NFL used Ray-Ray to shill for the league talking about player safety in a commercial to lead into the fourth quarter. The NFL turned to a murderer who ratted out his buddies to represent their efforts to make an inherently violent brand seem as safe as a walk in the park. The NFL used a krumping criminal who stabbed a man and let his buddies take the fall as their pitch man. This kills me.
9:48pm This game got pretty exciting here in the fourth too bad this blog post sucks… 38 seconds left. If the Patriots win this one I will be stunned and shocked.
9:51pm HAHAHA FUCK YOU BILL SIMMONS RED SOX WOODHEAD NATION!!!!!11!1!!!!
This post sucks… but thanks for coming by and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball…
Bearcat
Daddy's Sugar Ball 