On Monday Sesame Street reached its 45th anniversary. That is impressive. As a father to two young children I can say that Sesame Street really is just as important today as it was 45 years ago. While children’s TV has undergone a seismic shift in those 45 years, Sesame Street is still the go to program for kids. Here is why:
10. Cable TV children’s television is the great Satan of advertising. Watch you kids watch Nickelodeon. They do so as passive brain dead CONSUMERS. It is terrifying. Once a commercial comes on they immediately want the latest Secret of the Ooze Teenage Mutant Ninja action figure with real Kung Fu grip and matching face-melter ray gun. This product will cost $45 dollars and will be unloved 34 seconds upon exiting the packaging but they NEED it… the commercial said so.
9. While we are on commercials: Chucky Cheese is 53.4% of all ads on commercial children’s TV. If your kids watch commercial TV they want to go to Chucky Cheese. If you breakdown and take your children to Chucky Cheese you will shoot yourself in the fucking face and end up leaving them fatherless. Do not let that happen.
8. Kermit the Frog’s News Flash.
6. People talk about getting on Saturday Night Live as “making it” in show business. Either hosting, playing as the night’s band or being spoofed. They are right getting on SNL in some way provides a moment where you are part of the zeitgeist. But the other forum is Sesame Street. I would argue that it’s even more important. There is no artist, comedian, actor, musician, or celebrity that would turn down an opportunity to appear on Sesame Street… None.
5. Sesame Street make Will.i.am tolerable. Seriously… the dude has appeared in music bits for the show and they are… they are… good. No one else can do this.
3. Monster Piece Theater. I LOVE THESE.
2. The Sesame Street Making Crayons video… this is classic. So much going on there.
1. The Sesame Street parody pieces. There is so much to love here.
Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy’s Sugar Ball…
Bearcat
10. Vince Foster – Conspiracy theorists have long speculated that Bill and Hillary Clinton had something to do with Foster’s death even though multiple investigations have ruled it a suicide. After Ned’s touch either the former First Family will end up in court or right-wing blowhards like Rush and BillO will have to shut up.
9. Diana, Princess of Wales – Was it the paparazzi’s fault? Or how about her driver hopped up on antidepressants and alcohol? Either way, her account of the night’s events and the speeding route through the streets of Paris would settle many of the world’s questions.
2. Kurt Cobain – Cobain was troubled, loaded on heroin, and married to Courtney Love when he blew his head off with a shotgun…or did he? Many people contend foul play and even murder were involved as the cause of death was even the subject of a compelling documentary (Kurt & Courtney).
Too many college students end up with a little extra cash and decide that they can quickly double their money. Twice the money twice the fun; right? There are a couple students on campus that will be playing bookie and they offer a convenient means by which to place a quick bet on that late night BYU-Arizona State game. In case you have not read some of my other posts where I discuss the pleasures and evils of gambling let me put it right out there. Two things you will learn after gambling: 1.You will swear that all the games are fixed and 2. You will wish you had all the money you lost gambling back. These two lessons are especially acute for the poor college student. Just spend you money are beer forget the get quick rich scheme.
It’s College. You got four years to live it up. Five if you screw off too much but still keep it together. There are thousands of potential hook ups at your school. You should be on a catch-and-release program. Meet people. Hang with them for a while and then meet other people. You need to learn what you want out of a relationship. This is a great time to do just that with other people on an equal footing. Don’t pass it up. You don’t know what love is. Don’t get caught up looking for it.
If you learn nothing else from today’s posting this is the one nugget of information that you should not forget. DO NOT OPEN A CREDIT CARD. Every credit company in the world is on your campus looking to push credit cards into your bong water soaked pockets. You don’t have a source of income and are living off of the fumes left from a summer job so why is American Express giving you free shit to sign up? Because they know you will run it up. Over draw. Not pay and then get bailed out by mom and dad. This cycle will ruin your credit scores and will punish you later in life. The credit card companies are predatory pricks looking to destroy you. This can make it harder for you to get an apartment after college or worse, fuck with your student loans. DO NOT GET A CREDIT CARD!
9. Red Dog: This hooch tastes like it passed through an actual red dog before being canned. It is not fit for human consumption but given the cheapness, the 30 can pack and the college drinker’s idea of “value” it is an obvious choice when you are desperate and just want to bong beers all night.
1. High Life: If you are going to spend a couple extra bucks to treat yourself right while drinking cheap beer you can’t beat the High Life. That being said if you are buying and drinking in bulk this might be a little too pricy for you. This beer is acceptable for drinking post graduation.
Synopsis: Fifteen-year-old Sarah (Jennifer Connelly) is so resentful of her baby brother Toby that she hopes he will just disappear. Her dream becomes reality when goblins kidnap the boy, but Sarah unexpectedly finds herself horrified by the loss. So she sets forth to retrieve him, and finds herself on the adventure of a lifetime. To accomplish her task, she will somehow have to reach the center of the fantastical labyrinth where the wicked Goblin King (David Bowie) has imprisoned the lad. But the task is easier said than done, for the maze is filled with strange creatures and mind-bending puzzles that confuse the girl.
Synopsis: An exquisitely drawn, colorfully animated feature about Mrs. Brisby, a brave mother field mouse who struggles to save her family’s home from a farmer’s plow. She soon discovers she needs the help of the strange, intelligent rats who live beneath the nearby rosebush in an intricate city. But when the timid but determined Mrs. Brisby discovers the astounding wonders of NIMH, it could change her life forever. From the Hitchcockian flashback sequence revealing the rats’ secret to the moral questions raised about animal testing, this film is a beautiful example of how animation can expertly tell a gripping story while still remaining appropriate and entertaining for children.
Synopsis: When two boys become involved in the evil plans of Mr. Dark, a magical carnival owner (Jonathan Pryce), they find themselves in danger and responsible for the survival of their entire town! Mr. Dark has a devilish ability to grant wishes, which he uses to his advantage. When he realizes that the boys have discovered his secret, he sets about tracking them down, along with the creepy Dust Witch (Pam Grier).
Synopsis: In order to protect the reputation of the American space program, a team of scientists stages a phony Mars landing. Willingly participating in the deception is a trio of well-meaning astronauts, who become liabilities when their space capsule is reported lost on re-entry. Now, with the help of a crusading reporter, they must battle a sinister conspiracy that will stop at nothing to keep the truth a secret.
Synopsis: Mike, a young teenage boy who has just lost his parents, is afraid to lose his brother. This fear causes him to follow his brother to a funeral, where Mike witnesses the Tall Man lift a coffin on his own. Mike heads to the grounds of the mortuary, which is home to very bizarre happenings, including a unique security device. Enlisting the help of his brother Jody and ice cream salesman Reggie, Mike attempts to vanquish the Tall Man.
Synopsis: Teenager Alex Rogan lives and works in the trailer-park that his mother owns. His life consists of contemplating his rather bleak future, and waiting for word on his college loan application to arrive. One night, all of this changes forever. Alex possesses an extraordinary skill at video games, and when this skill attracts a space-travelling recruiter looking for pilots to protect the galaxy from outside forces, he suddenly finds himself on another planet in the middle of an inter-galactic war. It seems that his game-playing abilities are an invaluable military asset to the embattled “Star League of Planets.”
Daddy's Sugar Ball 