Things I Thought This Weekend

• Painting is a huge pain in the ass. I was painting our kitchen this weekend because Mrs. Bearcat took the two kids and left town for the weekend.  (Bachelor Weekend!  Or so I hoped.) But painting a kitchen is a multi-day event.  It is awful.  Don’t ever do it.  If you don’t like the color of your kitchen put the house for sale and move or commit insurance fraud and burn the place down.  Seriously… just leave the place.
• The NFL desperately wants American Football to catch on in England. They have been playing games there since like 2007.   Why are we flying teams halfway around the globe to play to half empty stadiums there when we have tax payer funded half empty stadiums here?!?!
• Why would any British person want to watch a sport that has this as the export pushing the brand down their throat?

https://vine.co/v/Oh3tAwg9t6x/embed/simple

• Skidz! When will they make a comeback?  I am ready for them.
• Chuck Todd will not be able to fix Meet the Press until the producers figure out that MTP is not MTV.  They book shitty guests.  They cut too many times and cut people off way too early.  And the panel sitting all across from each other is stupid and will never work.  It’s like if you had a party of six and you all sit at the bar to hang out.  It does not work. Max number of people that can sit at a bar and discuss anything is three; and that is pushing it.
• I love John Oliver and his show “Last Week Tonight.” He is doing great work but can we please not call him a journalist or his show news.  It can be HIGHLY informative and its great work but it is not journalism.  No shame in that.  If anything in 2014 that might be the best thing going for its long term success.
• The Garfield Halloween Adventure (1985) is underrated and underappreciated as far as holiday cartoon specials.       /ducks
• Penn State lost to THEE Ohio State University?  No shit…
• Pitt fumbled and lost the ball five time to open the game.  That is the most Pitt thing ever.  Like I always say “Pitt’s gonna Pitt.”
• With NFL locker rooms struggling at times to deal with MRSA how long until a team has Ebola raging through its bench?  I wish I could bet on this.  I would take the Browns and Tampa Bay at even odds and Jacksonville at 3-2 odds.  Can I get a money line on Dallas?  They should be near the top of the boards I think.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball…
Bearcat

The NFL lying? Get Out!!!!!

There are stupid things to say, there are lies, and then there are lies that make you look stupid.

NFL Spokesperson Greg Aiello (left) spoke up on Twitter immediately following yesterday’s court decision against the owners regarding the lock-out contingent TV deals:

“As we have frequently said, our clubs are prepared for any contingency, this decision included. Today’s ruling will have no effect on our efforts to negotiate a new, balanced labor agreement.”

The stupidity of this lie cannot be overstated.  It is blatantly untrue and no one will ever believe it.  The NFL owners clearly were relying on 1.2 billion dollars in TV money for the upcoming season regardless of whether any games were played as a means by which to continue to cover expenses.  It breaks down to approximately 40 million per team.  Not exactly a pittance.

The financial constraints between the parties are now in balance.  Owners do not want to sink personal funds into stadium bond payments and personnel that are sitting around watching the paint dry.  They bought an NFL franchise to print money and without the TV lockout funds flowing, money is going to dry up for these businesses.

Also failure to reach an agreement with the NFLPA by Friday could very well mean that the Union will decertify and instantly the NFL has a serious antitrust problem on their hands.  The players will all be individual workers.  While the NFL does not necessarily like fighting with the NFLPA; it has to be better than watching the salary cap vanish, cost certainty disappear, and financial rules put in place that create the level playing field for owners go out the window.  The NFL will have a hard time locking out a Union that has ceased to exist.

Ultimately the NFLPA does not want to dissolve via decertification.  That is a nuclear option.  The owners know that but they have to believe that the potential is real if they do get locked out.

There are a lot of moving pieces right now but one thing is certain.  Greg Aiello’s statement was colossally dumb.  The NFL owners just got the financial rug pulled out from underneath them and will have to vote today or tomorrow whether to soldier on without a war chest or to finally bargain in good faith.  Any time 1.2 billion dollars gets taken away it affects decision making.  I don’t care how rich you are.

Prediction:  Owners will vote not to pull the trigger on the lockout this week.  They will say something like, “Given recent progress at the bargaining table the parties have reason to believe that more time and hard work will bring about a balanced and fair deal.”

Negotiating a CBA is about leverage.  Who has it, who can use it and ultimately who will bend under it.  This ruling might be the leverage the NFLPA needed.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy’s Sugar Ball…
Bearcat

An Open Letter to NFL Cheerleaders

Dear NFL Cheerleaders,

I am a red-blooded, heterosexual American male. I enjoy watching football and drinking beer with my friends. I believe I am just one in millions of men who feel the exact same way I do, so please allow me to become their voice for a moment.

We don’t care about your synchronized cheers. We’re not watching you to get “pumped up” by your enthusiasm for the home team. We’re not paying much attention to the elaborate dance routine you’ve been working on with a choreographer for the last 8 weeks.

We want boobs. We want legs. We want ass. We want tight spandex boy shorts. We want slutty Halloween costumes. We want that “come hither” look. We want skin.

Do you know what we don’t want? We don’t want parkas. We don’t want winter hats. We don’t want North Face clothing on any part of your body.

I don’t care if you are expected to cheer in sub-zero temperatures in New England or 20mph winds in Philadelphia. You knew what the winter forecasts were like in cold-weather cities when you signed up for this job, not me. If you need to be bundled up like Randy in “A Christmas Story” then you might as well stay home because otherwise you are useless.

Hugs and kisses,
Max

Which would you rather look at?

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy’s Sugar Ball…

The NFL’s Blind Eye

The NFL does not really care about the health of football players. You probably already believe this but up until now I am pretty sure no one has proven it too you. The NFL has been passing out fines, substantial fines, for helmet to helmet hits the last couple of weeks. They’ve been ratcheting up the cost of “illegal” hits so as to appear like they care about the health of the product they put on the field. But image is all that matters to the NFL. If you need proof of that you need to look no further than Hall of Famer Mike Webster.

Iron Mike was the anchor of the Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line from 1974 until 1988. He is the greatest center in the history of the game and at the age of 50 he died while living out of his pickup truck. Webster was unable to maintain employment and relationships due in part to chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a neurodegenerative disease that was the result of the wear and tear his brain was put through while working in the NFL trenches. Doctors estimate that Webster’s football career was the equivalent of 25,000 car crashes on his brain. 25,000.

Even with the increased attention towards “illegal” hits, the battle on the line of scrimmage remains the same. The NFL fines for horrifying (for me entertaining) hits in the open field and on the QB but they never fine or even discuss what is clearly brain trauma inducing hits between sometimes 400-pound men. The NFL gets to look like they care about protecting its players because they fine linebackers for trucking wide receivers and for planting the untouchable quarterback but they look the other way when supersized men erupt on each other at the snap of the ball.

I personally don’t care about the fines or the devastating hits. The NFL players signed up the play a brutal game. They signed up to do it because it’s as good as hitting the lottery. They receive millions of dollars to entertain. I just wish the NFL stopped pretending like it cares about the health of its players. If it did it would work to protect them all. Not just the ones that end up on highlight reels. In the end it is the linemen on both sides of the ball who will be victims of the brutal game; more so than some wideout or the man they protect. The linemen are involved in a collision on every play. But there is nothing glamorous about those hits and those players so the NFL just ignores the next Mike Webster.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy’s Sugar Ball…
Bearcat

Sports News the DSB way…

Not Yet a True Bengal

Terrell Owens took part in Cincinnati’s Thursday night practice after arriving much later in the day than expected when he missed an overnight flight.  The Bengals had anticipated an earlier arrival to take his physical, sign his contract, and conduct a news conference.  T.O. caught a later flight without an issue and arrived less than a hour before the team’s evening session.  If T.O. was a “true Bengal” in the tradition of current players Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, and Matt Jones, Owens would have been stopped by airport security trying to board the plane with a loaded .45 and a vial of cocaine in his carry-on.

Steve Bono is Still Waiting for His Phone Call

The New York Jets signed 39-year old quarterback Mark Brunell to a two-year contract to backup Mark Sanchez.  Brunell has been in the news lately as he recently filed for bankruptcy after mismanagement of his portfolio following a career of earnings above $50M.  While I feel sorry for Brunell and his predicament, aren’t the Jets being shortsighted for relying on a weak-throwing lefty who can barely toss it 20 yards downfield?  Seriously…Abe Vigoda has a stronger arm and more field vision than Brunell at this point in his career.

I am in Shape, Round is a Shape

The Washington Redskins’ $100M man, Albert Haynesworth, failed to pass a conditioning test yesterday when he couldn’t complete a third 300-yard sprint in a satisfactory time.  After a tumultuous off-season that has seen Haynesworth skip workouts and minicamps because he is unhappy with the Redskins’ switch to a 3-4 defense, new head coach Mike Shanahan put the defensive lineman’s fitness to the test before he could participate in practice with his teammates.  DSB reached out to Haynesworth for an explanation and he informed us that he lost precious time when the line at the hot dog cart was longer than he had expected.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy’s Sugar Ball…
Max Power

The Not Quite Top Ten Top Ten: Bearcat’s Most Hated Men In Sports

A little while back Mondesi’s House posted a list of the most hated men in Pittsburgh sports.  I did not exactly agree with the whole list and frankly the rankings were kind of lazy, but it was not my list so I could not really complain. Max Power thought it would be a good idea for me to fill out my own list. If you are a long time reader here at DSB, and who isn’t, then for some this will not surprise you but I think it is always a good idea to revisit why certain sports figures are worthy of my hatred. I decided to revisit an old Bearcat standby…The Not Quite Top Ten Top Ten

10. Tom Brady

Insufferable even on The Simpsons

The man is single-handedly responsible for the pussification of the NFL. If he gets breathed on, the officials throw a flag. Brady is the poster boy for the Nerf Football League and watching him request flags and then get them causes me so much grief I have to drink massive quantities of alcohol just to get through a Patriots highlight session on ESPN. Couple this with his fashion modeling, his illegitimate baby that he bailed on so as to impregnate a supermodel and his frat-boy/douche bag good looks and how can you not hate him?

9. Kobe Bryant

Little Black Mamba just wanted some anal…

If he was just a maniacal asshole for a teammate that would probably be enough for him to be a player that I despised. The screaming at teammates…the 8,000 shots a game…the under-bite “mean” face…the smirk for a smile…the unbridled selfishness. That is all worth my scorn. But that is not quite enough to get on this list. No he had to go and rape a girl, throw Shaq under the bus during the police investigation (an often forgotten fact), pay the victim off to avoid a conviction, pay off his wife with a stupidly expensive purple diamond ring and sit back for a couple months until the whole thing blew over so that the media could go back to worshiping at his feet.  Kobe Bryant = rapist.

7. Barry Bonds

Even his own mother thinks he is an asshole… right? This is undisputed truth

It is humanly impossible for anyone who has ever played, coach or paid money to see him play a game to say something nice about Barry Bonds. His own mother thinks he is an asshole. Satan has a better reputation than Barry Bonds. ESPN crawled into bed with him via a reality TV show and even the magicians that are reality TV editors could not make him look even the least bit likable. Pol Pot is less offensive as a human being than this guy. If A.J. Pierzynski is a clubhouse cancer than Barry gives your clubhouse leprosy and then provides Ebola to the fanbase. i.e. The Pittsburgh Pirates.

6. Pirates Ownership Since 1996

Where to start with these guys? First was Kevin McClatchy who was the face of the new ownership group when they took over in ’96. He was the CEO and Managing General Partner for a much larger group of life sucking owners.  Then so as to make it seem like this group of abusive parents owners were taking some level of responsibility they relieved McClatchy of his post and replaced him with Bob Nutting.  As if to say, an “Under New Management” sign was all that was needed outside PNC Park for things to get better.  While these clowns have been running the Pirates we have seen the likes of Derek “Operation Shutdown” Bell, Jason “Welcome to Hell” Kendall and his crippling 60 million dollar contract, The Aramis Ramirez for Bobby Hill Trade, The Cam Bonifay Experience… I can do this all day but I don’t want to end up on a suicide watch.

3. Everything Associated With the Philadelphia Flyers

I have said it plenty of times on and off DSB. I truly hate the Flyers. You can never be too big, too fast or too stupid to play for their hockey team. Mostly the same can be said for all Flyers fans; you can never been too obnoxious, too prone to random acts of violence or too stupid. The “rough and tumble” style of their team is cheered on by its fans as Scott “The Demonic Clown” Hartnell takes another stupid penalty at just the wrong time. Dan Carcillo does not have the mental aptitude to be a door stop but he is held up as the quintessential hard hitting forward. The Broad Street Bullies were an expansion team that no one cared about until they won the Cup. Flyers fans that channel those ‘74 and ’75 Championship winning teams were either not alive to know anything about them or are lying about seeing them “win the Cup.”  It is really hard for me to put into words my complete and utter distaste for everything around this team. The best way for me to show you is to link to one of my favorite youtube.com videos… I just love how the bench is patting Kasparaitis on the back after he totally crushes Lindros, so classless, just what the Flyers deserve.

2. Brett Favre

It was not a matter of if Favre would get on my list it was only a matter of what his final ranking would be. While there is a football player that garners more of my hatred, there is not another player whose career ending injury during live broadcast would bring me more joy. I spend every game in which he plays hoping that he will either get a limb ripped of or that he will be strapped to a back board with the facemask unscrewed from the helmet (always an awesome look). It would be great. To watch ESPN melt down, to see columnists openly weep for the 40 year old QB’s tragic end. It is the only reason I can stomach watching him play. The potential to see it all end with a Theismann like thud draws me in.  Oh, how I wish that this self aggrandizing asshole with a history of alcohol abuse and an addiction to prescription pain relief would end up in a halo.

1. Ray-Ray

This drives me insane…

Public Enemy #1 on my list is Ray Lewis. If I can refer back to one of my early rants here on DSB… Ray-Ray’s look at me attitude, whooping it up attitude in the locker room, his dancing on the field and worse of all his Krumping from the tunnel, is nothing but a sideshow. ESPN will talk about his leadership, his drive, his passion for the game but those are all antics sold as entertainment. The fact that he works the NFL Rookie camp helping to mold and guide future millionaires is maddening. It is like the fact that Ray-Ray is both a murderer and a snitch were completely washed away by his preacher “God first” persona for the cameras. He is a clown in shoulder pads that ratted on his homies to avoid doing time. A rat. Fitting that he sits in what was the murder capital of America. In the history of football, is there a player that has been awarded more unearned half a tackle points than Ray Lewis? Anyone else on the Ravens’ defense makes a tackle and then Ray-Ray comes flying in seconds after the ball carrier is down, dropping a hit on a player who was otherwise tackled. Yet the refs never throw a flag for the late hit. Instead he gets credit for the play and is described as a hard hitting linebacker. I hate him so much…

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy”s Sugar Ball…
Bearcat

Sports News the DSB way…

Needling the NFL

The SCOTUS jammed it about this far up my ass…

Yesterday the U.S. Supreme Court provided a minor bitch slap to the NFL after upholding an appeal by American Needle in its anti-trust lawsuit. In a unanimous decision, the Court resoundingly defeated the NFL’s “single entity” theory which is a collective of owners made up in part of Jerry Jones, Al Davis and Dan Snyder was an obscene stretch.   Meanwhile, MLB enjoys the only anti-trust exemption in America and uses it on a nearly daily basis to screw over baseball fans.  Just another friendly reminder that baseball hates you.

Respect the Stern

That is right Mr. President you WILL pay…

In the executive branch of the Federal Government, the President who “doesn’t want to meddle” decided to do exactly that in telling the media that LeBron James should join his favorite NBA team the Chicago Bulls.  Stern decided that after fining NBA bomb thrower Mark Cuban 100,000 dollars for tampering after his LeBron free agency comments needed to protect precedent and is reportedly leveling a 100K fine against the resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Obama, not wanting to upset Stern or his guerillas, is expected to pay up by week’s end.

Dude Looks Like A Lady

This is why Wimbledon has a dress code…

Venus Williams won her opening set of the French Open but unfortunately due to her attire the match was ruled NC-17 and was not suitable for broadcast on television.
*The above photo is NOT photoshopped in any way

Always Bet On Black

Dear Seahawks fans: This man may very well be quarterbacking your team this season. Try to keep from completely losing your shit.

J.P Losman is said to be relishing his second third chance in the NFL with the Seattle Seahawks and his role as Coach Pete Carroll’s “project.” Losman who is coming off winning the inaugural UFL championship for the Las Vegas Locomotives (Hey, you just learned something!) was openly gloating about the size of his bonus from that game to reporters in Seattle. DSB’s crack research team of chain smoking capuchin monkeys has learned that the reason Loss-man was gloating was he had actually gambled his bonus check on black and doubled it to $5.80.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball…
Bearcat

Running Diary: Pittsburgh at Baltimore for Sunday Night Football

Just a friendly reminder that Ray Lewis is dangerous and he will murder you given the chance…

It’s a primetime Steelers game so that must mean that I will be doing a DSB Running Diary…

It should be interesting tonight because I normally drink heavily during Pittsburgh games.  With the Dennis Dixon era starting tonight against the Ravens and the Steelers nursing a depressing two game losing streak that threatens the whole season, the drinking tonight should be exceptionally heavy.  As such I make no promises about the quality or content of the diary.

7:30  We are almost an hour away from game time, but I had better start the drinking early.  I have also taken Tums, Rolaids and Pepcid AC in preparation for what will certainly be a heartburn inducing divisional matchup.  The first beer of the evening is Samuel Smith’s Organic Raspberry Ale.  I picked this up in a tall boy bottle and while it is a decent beer it tastes more like raspberry flavored champagne than it does a fruit based beer.  I have generally enjoyed Samuel Smith’s high quality craft brewery style beers but this one is a complete disappointment.  The flavor is very heavy on the raspberry and that is all it provides other than an overwhelming fizziness…couple this with a relatively low 5.1% ABV and this is a beer you can skip.

7:38  Watching ESPN do the rundown of all of today’s games.  They take a look at the standings and Berman says that the 7-3 Patriots are “actually a defacto 10-0 team.”  I can actually feel my brain bleeding out my ears at this moment.  Tom Jackson does not murder Berman so I can only assume that he agrees with this insane logic.  I think I just heard an ESPN production assistant kill himself off camera… either because of that statement or due to an impending hostile work environment lawsuit.

7:45  Switched to NBC’s Football Night in America… you know what these guys need?  More pinstripe suits.  They all look like they go to the same tailor.  How about a window pane or a nice plain black suit on someone?  The striped suits are killing me.  But at least my brain has quit bleeding (for now).

7:56  Some pregame advice for Dennis Dixon… considering you are playing the Ravens, you might want to skip the normal football pads and instead put on a Second Chance Body Armor Vest.  It will help protect you from the almost certain shanking you will receive.

8:02  Its cute how Bob Costas colors his hair except for at the sideburns.  It is almost like we are supposed to believe that’s his natural hair color just because he left a little gray.

8:25  And we are off… Ravens kick to the Steelers.  The crowd is really into it.  Sounds like they are getting ready to cheer for a stabbing.

8:33 The Steelers predictably make two runs then the third down pass is nearly picked off.  Time to start really drinking… next beer up is Bear Republic’s Big Black Stout.  This is a deep dark stout and a fantastic brew.  8.1% ABV. Smoky, black and bitter… just like my heart.  It gets the Bearcat Seal of Approval.  I plan to down the entire 22oz bottle in about 5 minutes.  That will help numb the pain of this game.  Oh, good news…Ed Hochuli is calling the game.  Wonder how many push ups he did before the game to ensure that pumped up look…

8:36  Is there an NFL team that dances as much as the Ravens?  It is like they are trying out for Fame after ever play.

8:40  Wilis McGahee with a TD to make it 7-0 Ravens.  Can we get Ryan Clark to unload on him again like he did last year in the AFC Championship game?  I don’t care if we lose Clark for the rest of the game.  It would be worth seeing Ray-Ray cry again.

8:42  From a blimp, Baltimore does not look like the murder capital of the world… all cities should be judged from 5,000 feet.  It is hard to hear the murderous screams from that height too I bet.

8:49  30 yard sprint by Dixon brought back by a holding call… damn he is fast.  The one thing that might save the offense tonight is his legs.

8:50  Time for another beer.  This time we are going top shelf:  Sierra Nevada Torpedo Imperial IPA.  I may have mentioned this beer before during a previous running diary.  If you ever get the chance to pick it up, it is a must drink IPA.  Hoppy but not in excess.  A fantastic beer by which other IPAs could be judged.  It natually gets the Bearcat Seal of Approval.

8:56  The Miller commercial where they cheer and clink glasses to “Jingle Bells” or whatever that holiday song is makes me want to take a machete to the marketing team that dreamed it up.  I hate that commercial and I hate that I am going to be subjected to it during every football game from now until the middle of January.

9:00  Cris Collinsworth:  “This is not really a football game…”  Then what the hell is it?  It kind of looks like a football game to me.

9:03  Dixon makes two GREAT throws to tie the game.  Wow… turn the game manager mode off.  And out come the Terrible Towels… Got to love seeing those at away games if you are a Steelers fan.

9:07  Uh oh… the downside of any Steelers’ touchdown is the ensuing kickoff.  I need to switch to high test.  Vodka and club soda… I bet you thought I was going to reach for the Jameson.  Unfortunately I only have 12 year in the house and that stuff is too good to just start throwing down.

9:13  Collinsworth:  “Michael Oher was brought here just to block Lamar Woodley…”  What is Oher doing for the other 14 games? Signing copies of The Blind Side?

9:19  Baltimore’s cheerleaders look like the Ravens just went down to the local YWCA and gave the aerobics class pom-poms and bus fare to the game.  (Max Power is stunned to hear that Baltimore’s women do aerobics).

9:25  Ray Lewis gets flagged for an obvious holding.  He should give up arguing with the ref and just stab him… you know he wants to.

9:42  First Gay then Taylor gets burned by the Ravens vertical attack.  14-7 Ravens and there is 1:45 on the clock with one timeout.  It should be interesting to see what Tomlin lets Dixon do.  A first down run…and then a second down run… well that answers that question.

9:46  Halftime 14-7 Ravens…

9:53  That Great Moment in Tailgating History halftime ad is totally unbelievable.  No one watched the Steelers when they played at Forbes Field… it would be like paying to watch HYP Flag Football.

10:00  An entire half and we have not heard about how this was a two chin strap game.  That disappoints me.  It kills me when they refer to Steelers/Ravens as two chin strap games.  Maybe CBS has a trademark on that phrase.

10:10  I get it!  Oher’s story was made into a movie… please stop talking about it.  Please just give me some analysis and reasonable commentary about the game I am watching.  I am not going to see The Blind Side… please stop pimping it.

10:15  Reed nails a 44-yard kick to make it a four point game. 14-10 Ravens.  Look out Baltimore, your Wawa paper towel dispensers are about to get a visit from Skippy Reed tonight.

10:21  Timmons shoots the gap and drives The Unibrow to the ground for a 10 yard loss on the sack.  That sets up a quick 3rd down for a second sack and the defense shows up big time there.  This game feels like a winnable game.  I am having a better feeling about this one then I have the past two games.  The Steelers should be able to find a way to win this game.  (Looking back, I wish there was someone watching the game with me so they could have punched me in the face for thinking and writing this.)

10:27  Ohh…a Hines Ward retrospective of his best hits on Ed Reed… Can I buy that on DVD?  I would play it on a constant loop for hours.  I love the one where he lays Reed out and then is calling for the trainer before the play is even over.  Classic.

10:29  Luke Wilson is doing the AT&T postcard commercial… Wow, AT&T has cell phone coverage in major cities.  He spends the 30 second ad listing the 20 most populous cities in America… I am totally blown away that AT&T is servicing all these huge population centers.

10:37  Can we cut William Gay?  He has been getting killed on the field for weeks.  I am tired of him getting burned on the deep pass and getting juked to death on run plays.  I should not be forced to endure his retardary any further.

10:48  Ravens return man Chris Carr is one strange looking dude.  He looks like he might fit in as an extra on Avatar. Tiny ears…

10:50  Timmons forces the fumble and the Steelers recover.  This is the break they need to take the lead.  Dixon had better find his first half form.

10:58  Dixon runs it to the right for a 28 yard touchdown!!! A great block by Mewelde Moore made it possible.  Now the defense needs to hold the Ratbirds’ offense.

10:59  I just realized (again) that the Steelers’ Special Ed Team needs to kickoff after a score.  Yeah, I am reaching for that 12 year old Jameson right now. Going to use that to wash down more antacid…

11:10  4th and five at mid-field and the Ravens go for it.  Rice takes it to the 10 yard line for a first and goal.  There is 2:53 on the clock and the Steelers defense is shook up… They are going to crap this game away.  I am ready to jump out of a window.

11:17  The Steelers defense holds at the goal line and the Ravens tie the game at 17 with 1:51 left to play.  Dixon has a chance to be a hero to the entire city of Pittsburgh…

11:21  A four and out… Dixon can’t read a zone defense to save his life.  The punt to Carr and he drives it to within field goal range… I nearly light my home on fire but thankfully the stupid Ravens commit a block in the back penalty… that’s the only thing that saves the special teams from mass execution upon their return to the ‘burgh.

11:24  Ike Taylor gets hit with pass interference AND illegal contact on the same play with Derrick Mason… this puts the Ravens within field goal range.  Taylor as been getting destroyed all game.  But wait the Ravens screw themselves with a 10 yard offensive pass interference call… thank you for being stupid Baltimore.

11:27  Sack and fumble recovered by Baltimore… and the Ravens rush out to make the kick and damn that nearly gave me a heart attack… it fell three yards short and may have just taken 3 years off my life.  Overtime… Free football!

11:37  Dixon drops back to pass on 2nd and six with an empty set… That was stupid play calling; if you don’t make it you are setting it up so that you have to pass it on third down.  At least go with a play action there.  The spread offense does not get it done with Dixon against a zone.

11:42  Dixon throws a killer interception.  It is returned to the 33 yard line.  That’s the game.  The Ravens will just run it down the Steelers throat from here on out.  I am now contemplating my will to live.  The Steelers have lost three in a row as Baltimore prevails 20-17.

11:47  Not a great game for the Steelers by any stretch of the imagination and probably a worse Running Diary.  The Steelers now sit at 6-5 and half a game behind the Ravens in the Wild Card Race.

11:55  Ray Lewis and Ray Rice are being interviewed as the Stars of the Game.  Ray-Ray (that’s Lewis) can’t stop talking… he is filibustering his own sideline interview.  He says and I quote: “… I touch Ray [Rice] and I get power just from touching him…  I also get power from stabbing people then absorbing their soul.”  (I made that last part up but apparently Ray-Ray likes touching other Rays.  Good to know.) Time to sign off… Congratulations for sticking it out through this rambling mess.

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball…
Bearcat

Chargers at the Steelers… Sunday Night Football… A Running Diary

You can’t call that bullshit… besides I am wearing the puffy coat… We don’t lose while I am wearing the puffy coat.

8:19 Mrs. Bearcat and I are in Pittsburgh at Mama and Papa Bearcat’s house for the Chargers at Steelers Sunday Night Football game… what else but another one of my Steelers Game Running Diary entries.

8:21 Mrs. Bearcat: “Who are the guys with lighting bolts on their heads? Are they the Rams?”
I really hope she wins the DSB Pick’em League…I want it so bad.

8:24 Mrs. Bearcat: “I wish Al Roker was singing the intro song; that would be way better than Faith Hill. Because I like how he does the Sunday Night Football intro on the Today show.”

8:26 More Mrs. Bearcat: “I don’t think Ben is looking that good. His face looks fat and his hair is shaggy.” I agree he is looking way too heavy…

8:30 Hey Andrea Kramer… 1985 called and Michael Jackson wants his Thriller jacket back.

8:36 Touchdown… that did not take long… again another quick start by the Steelers offense. Hope this script is different then the last couple games.

8:46 Just found out the Steelers scratched Limas Sweed for the game… could not be more deserved. Maybe this will allow him to remember that his job is to “catch” the football.

8:50 Antonio Cromartie is like a name out of a comic book… I wish my parents named me Antonio Cromartie. I would have definitely grown up to be an X-man.

8:56 14-0 two drives two touchdowns… hope you all took the over… BTW the over/under was 44

9:04 For you not paying attention at home… the Pirates season ended today. It ended with a 6-0 shutout to the Reds. Of course it did… (weeps softly)

9:06 The Chargers punter has braces… not knee braces…braces to straighten his teeth. His name? Mike Scifres… From? Western Illinois… I am sure you knew that already.

9:13 Steelers are running with authority… this is a first for the 2009 season and this is a major problem for the Chargers.

9:15 Back-to-back sacks… come on Ben how freaking long are you going to hold on to that ball while the defenders are coming straight ahead?

9:30 On their own 30 yard line the Steelers go for it on fourth and an inch… a great call. If you can’t get an inch you don’t deserve to win the game. They get it with Big Ben diving for a yard.

9:45 Fast Willie Parker (Official Name) might be losing his spot as a starter to Mendenhall. Two Touchdowns today and a strong running game between the tackles and outside means that the Steelers can control the game. This is why the Steelers drafted this guy. He can run the ball. 21-0

9:50 With only seconds to play in the half Mrs. Bearcat bails on the game and heads to bed.

9:58 I just found myself agreeing with Ray Lewis after hearing his rant about the roughing the passer calls in today’s Ravens-Pats game… I am now clawing out my eyeballs.

10:17 After a fantastic drive that was never in doubt Ben connects with Heath Miller to make it 28-0… I wonder if Marmalard is still talking all that trash to the defensive backs and the crowd.

10:34 In case you are wondering why I am not drinking heavily and where Mrs. Bearcat is with her running diary brownie baking… I have to go under the knife tomorrow morning for some surgery on my arm… so no booze and no food for the next 12 hours. This is not helping.

10:48 The Steelers are playing a deep cover two now that they are up 28-7 in the fourth quarter but every pass is either a TD or an INT waiting to happen… I hope we don’t see another end of game meltdown by the Steelers Defense.

10:51 Punt… to Logan and he gets stripped of the ball before he is either brought down or the whistle could be blown for forward progress… WTF? It’s a touchdown for the Chargers? Shit here we go.

11:00 Moore to Miller in a gadget play… Collins loves it!!! I love it. 35 – 14

11:08 The Steelers are still soft in the fourth quarter as the Chargers score again going nearly 70 yards in 90 seconds to make it 35 – 21… there is still 5:48 seconds left in the game…

11:11 Onside kick and the Steelers hands team can’t get a handle on the ball and the Chargers recover… God Damn this team. They are trying to kill me.

11:14 James Harrison gets called on a defensive pass interference against Antonio Gates on a ball that WAS NOT CATCHABLE but apparently Vegas made a phone call because on the next play the Chargers pull within seven points and the score is 35-28 I am going to go throw garbage in the yard of every special teams and defensive player if the Steelers lose this game. The Steelers are just terrible in the fourth quarter… Ben needs to go down the field and score. Ice this game.

11:15 The lack of booze tonight is killing me…

11:19 BTW have I mentioned that I have Rashard Mendenhall sitting on my bench in fantasy football? Of course he has a career game. 165 yards and two touchdowns… He is chewing up the clock during this drive and is lighting it up… love this guy.

11:34 Reed gets off the schneid… nails it from 43 yards out to ice the game with a ten point lead and only 43 seconds left to wind off the clock.

11:36 James Harrison rushes the left tackle for the blitz and lights Marmalard up and he coughs up the ball with the Steelers recovering. Game over. Steelers climb to 2-2 and are only one game behind both the Bungles and the Ravens for the AFC North lead. I am out…

Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball…
Bearcat

Ménage à Trois – Episode 3

You still can’t believe you were able to convince the others to do it…but then it happened and luckily you had hit the record button so it was all saved for posterity.

The editors here at Daddy’s Sugar Ball our proud to release our third podcast and we’re now ready to let our loyal readers in on the discussion. Bearcat, ZJ, Max Power and special guest Spintrick had a lively beer-fueled discussion regarding the current sports and pop culture landscape.

The topics included for our third podcast were:

Intro
Girl of the Moment (0:45 min mark)
What we’re drinking (3:40 min mark)
NFL Preview (7:55 min mark)
People you are afraid of in the NFL (19:30 min mark)
Buffalo Wild Wings commercial (21:30 min mark)
Bloopers & Gag Reel (22:55 min mark)

And just like our typical posts here on a daily basis, we want to remind you our loyal listeners that at times we may use some profanity, so please be responsible when and where you listen.

Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy’s Sugar Ball…