Brett Favre this week retired. Again. You can read how he is really retired this time from ESPN or you can find Internet articles about how he is two-faced SOB and he will be back (no real media is going to trash this guys shitty reputation). But I am not here to tell you about that crap. I am here to complain about all the shit we are going to have to put up with. First, Brett Favre is not that fucking great. Yeah he played in 291 consecutive games (including playoffs). He played in two Super Bowls and won one. But he should also be remembered by his talent for throwing game killing INTs and TAINTs and for throwing wide receiver killing passes (Here catch this ball that is two feet right and two feet too high while crossing the middle… that linebacker is not going to hit you so hard that he will take more life from you than a four pack a day smoking habit…trust me I’m your veteran QB) Yet, there are going to be at least five teams (Vikings, Chiefs, Lions, Bills, Bears) that will be rumored to be in talks with him this off season. (Lead horse in this race has to be Vikings… right?) Even if he does not come back we are going to have to hear about his “desire to play the game and his ultra competitive nature” daily. ESPN is going to punish you and me with constant updates from Buttfuck, Mississippi after they insert Rachel Nichols up Favre’s ass. Christ, I am ready to cancel my cable already. So lets assume that he does not come back to play. If he some how manages to stay retired (even money says he comes back) how long until he writes his autobiography where he throws every coach, position player, manager and reporter under the bus. It will be their fault that he won only one Super Bowl when he had the talent to win so many, many more. If only those cheap Green Bay execs would have spent the money for true talent to support the Great, HOF, “played the game the right way”, gunslinger, QB. Due date for this toilet paper? Wild Card weekend 2010. Why then? Because we can’t have the playoffs without Brett Favre. Fuck, what else would be talked about if he were not in our lives? And guess what you can expect the next off season if he does sit out the 2009 season. Discussion about how he is only 40 years young, thinks he has something “left in the tank” and rumors of him coming to play for the Vikings, Chiefs, Lions… Fuck. Me.
Thanks for coming and suckling on Daddy’s Sugar Ball…
Bearcat
Daddy's Sugar Ball 