In case you missed NFL Truth & Rumors from Weeks 1-9, click here.
Q: Is Eric Mangini really on the hot seat in Cleveland already?
A: Of course not. Don’t be stupid. Remember, this is a man we called “The ManGenius” as recently as 13 months ago. You don’t get to sit atop the hot seat simply by switching quarterbacks every three weeks, so let’s all settle down. Sure, when he was coach of the Jets last season he lobbied hard for the Jets to draft Vernon Gholston, who has yet to record an NFL sack. And yeah, he presides over the “opportunity drill” which has now claimed two victims in RB James Davis (season-ending shoulder injury) and second-year defensive end Keith Grennan (torn patellar tendon) of the practice squad. So what if his Browns’ team is 1-7 with the second-highest negative point differential in the league? I suspect The ManGenius is rope-a-doping all of us and has something truly brilliant up his sweatshirted-sleeve. Stay tuned.
Q: Now that he’s been waived by the Chiefs, where will running back Larry Johnson land?
A: Though the Washington Redskins may seem like the most logical landing spot for the washed-up back, the more likely scenario has Johnson in Leavenworth Federal Prison for assault and battery. Although don’t rule out the Redskins.
Q: Will Jon Gruden coach in 2010?
A: Gruden, who I like to call “The Nicknamer,” will not be able to resist the urge to smirk and scream at men twice his size next season. The Nicknamer is a man who craves power above all else, and while he’s trained Ron Jaworski like a little puppy, it’s the headstrong, unfeeling robot named Mike Tirico who will not cave to Gruden’s wiles and charms, forcing him to return to his glory on the sidelines in 2010. Domo arigato, Mr. Tirico!
Q: After the latest in a series of incidents, has Joe Namath’s yellow labrador been declared a “dangerous” dog?
A: Dangerous? Yes. Lethal? No, not yet. To truly achieve Lethal Status, the dog must master advanced mortal techniques and complete a series of complex challenges, such as attacking and killing a horse. Joey Porter scoffs at Namath’s “dangerous” lab.
Bonus Basketball Truth & Rumor!
Q: Is it true that LeBron James is spearheading a movement to persuade every NBA player who wears No. 23 to give it up as a tribute to Michael Jordan?
A: James, who has said that he is changing numbers to honor Jordan, is unquestionably coercing the Association to outlaw retire honor No. 23 in deference to his Bitterness Airness. It is strongly believed that Commandant Stern is already issuing edicts to teams “to cease and desist” allowing players to wear the most popular number in organized basketball.
Thanks for coming and suckling Daddy’s Sugar Ball…
ZJ
Daddy's Sugar Ball 
